Two wrongs are simply two wrongs. This has been a tough lesson for me over the last handful of years. I’m seeing this as a growing need among Christians in our society. We can be right but say it wrong which results in two wrongs. I see many Christians saying and posting things that “on paper” I agree with. However, they lack grace, care, concern, empathy, and class. In the end, they are wrong, not for content but approach.
Regrettably, this happens to me all too often in marriage. Ava and I can be in the middle of a discussion. In my head, I “know” I am right. I know if we both took a step back and saw the bigger picture or had complete understanding, that outcome is clear. Ok, that is the moment of church. I do think God gives me clarity, but then what? Then selfish ego Jason comes out. The Jason that just wants to be right and end this. This is the Jason that doesn’t care about taking the time to nurture and lovingly guide. This is the Jason that will shut down. This is the ugly Jason. Eventually, we get there. We talk. We gain understanding. We own our crap. We move forward. Sadly, most of the owning I need to deal with most always deal with my approach, not content. This carries over into most areas of my life.
With some stuff going on in my mind, I googled this passage today. It hit me. It moved me. Read Colossians 3:12-15 below:
“Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.”
To be holy is not weak. To be compassionate is not weak. To be kind is not weak. To be humble, meek is not weak. When I am dealing with people these are not “non-options” these are THE option. In the end, as we care about endless growth in ourselves and others, I care about holiness for both me and those close to me. I don’t want to bully you to holiness. I don’t want to force you to the right place. I want to guide US to holiness before God. I do have to keep the end in mind because with the end in mind I change my approach. I have to say, “Jason, you are right, but the way you want to say it will never get us there. How do you need to act and talk to be heard? How do you need to guide to be understood and to see life change?”
The next part is the part that ROCKED me. If you have a complaint against someone else, forgive. But do you see what it is said there? It doesn’t say forgive them. It says “forgiving each other.” What? If you have a complaint against another, you both have some apologizing to do? Yes. Why? I think this again deals with the approach.
Do you have a complaint against another? Do they know the complaint before others know the complaint? Does your spirit want to punish, shame, or manipulate? Do you have a spirit of love, peace, patience, kindness, and humility? If they apologize, do you have a forgiving spirit ready to move forward? No? Sounds like two people need to apologize, one for the initial wrong and one for the approach.
I write and preach to Wellspring. If this can help others great, but God has called me to care first for the people He’s blessed us with. So Wellspring, we are at the end of the 21 days of prayer and fasting. We have seen GREAT unity around this. Do you know who is PROWLING seeking to destroy our unity? Our enemy. How we handle personal relationships will cause division or protect unity. How we handle relationships within will make us more desirable within the community. Let’s not have a bunch of broken relationships resulting from two deep wrongs.
Wellspring, unity is ours in Christ Jesus. We must fight to protect it. Get out of ourselves. As Philippians 2:4-11 reminds us;
Let each of you look not only to his own interests but also to the interests of others. 5 Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, 6 who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, 7 but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. 8 And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. 9 Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, 10 so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11 and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.
Keep praying for ONE and let's be the church the ONES would LOVE to come to!
Written by Pastor Jason Coache,
Lead Pastor of Wellspring Church